Separating from an abusive partner in cases of domestic violence usually takes place when women and children are most at risk of harm. It often requires multiple attempts before you’re finally able to leave. Many women don’t want the relationship to end – they just want the violence to stop.
Following our guidance on how to establish a domestic violence safety plan can help protect you and your family, enabling you to act on the plan quickly if the situation becomes urgent.
In situations where violence has become common, you – and your children, if you’re a parent – may need to leave in a hurry.
Know the best way to get out of the house quickly and have an emergency suitcase packed with essentials ready to go. Keep the bag hidden, or store this with a trusted family member or friend.
Your emergency suitcase should include:
If you’ve left your suitcase with someone else, agree on a safe word so that you can give them over the phone without arousing suspicion from your abuser. This will let them know if you feel unsafe and need assistance. You can also ask neighbours to call the police if they hear a commotion from your house.
View this post on InstagramWhen it comes to technology and safety, trust your instincts. If you suspect an abusive person knows too much, it’s possible your phone, computer, email or other activities are being monitored. Abusers and stalkers can act in incredibly persistent and creative ways to maintain power and control, but there are ways to reduce the risk.
If anyone who is abusive has access to your computer, they might be monitoring your activities. Spyware and keylogging programs are commonly available and can track what you do on your computer without you knowing.
To reduce this risk, use a ‘safe computer’ when looking for help or a new place to live. This could be a device at a library, community centre or at a friend’s house.
You can use this safe computer to create an additional email account if you’re worried someone has access to your email. Be sure not to create or check this email account from a computer your abuser could access and use an anonymous name when making the account.
Some abusers use their victim’s email and other accounts to impersonate them and cause harm. If anyone abusive knows or could guess your passwords, change them quickly and frequently. Think about changing the passwords for any protected accounts, including online banking, and use a safe computer to access these.
If your mobile phone was given to you by the abusive person, it’s best to turn it off whenever possible. When turned on, check the phone settings. If your phone has an optional location service, you may want to switch this feature off.
Discuss your safety plan with your kids if they’re at an age where it’s appropriate. Help them choose a room in the house where they feel protected but can escape from, if necessary. Tell them to go to this room if there’s a fight, and advise them not to get involved.
It is also useful to: